so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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