Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
