Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just cropdusted the office
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
