You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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