you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's rum buckets o'clock
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize