Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
