did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
