No subtext here. People are naked.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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