Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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