An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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