Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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