you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My ass is underappreciated
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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