You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
