Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
