your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
