Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We left an ass print on the piano.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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