They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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