hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
