I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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