trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
