you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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