You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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