when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
