His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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