you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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