"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
