Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
