I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
