What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
