my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
