I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
