I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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