I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
