i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
