people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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