maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
