Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
