Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
