Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
