Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Where is the hickey?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
