I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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