I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
