I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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