I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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