Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
