yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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