If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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