i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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