This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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