so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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