Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize