garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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