i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
