Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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