i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
