PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
