chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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