with your own penis?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
