I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
