I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
