To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
