ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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