This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
