I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
