His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
